Bigots Frightened No More
by Anonymous To all you so-easily frightened bigots out there: Obama is no longer president, so you can lay off with the stockpiling of ammo... especially .22 ammo. For those not in the know: The gun...
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Timbers Lose Chara Early, Lose Big Again
by Abe Asher Portland TimbersFor the first time since Opening Day almost three months ago, Timbers manager Caleb Porter was able to select his first-choice starting eleven.They lasted just eighteen...
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The Lovers: A Slog Through the Worst Parts of Adulthood
by Megan Burbank A friend of mine claims that because her parents never got divorced, she can’t handle fictional separations. Turns out I share this intolerance, because getting through The Lovers was...
View ArticleNoOne Man
by Anonymous I don't want to be seen. I wear hats everyday. I wear sunglasses everyday. On cloudy ones. On rainy ones. Hiding from the light and glaring porch lights. Some have asked if I'm in...
View ArticleGoals
by Anonymous I'm a man in my mid-to-upper 40's who is currently on several online dating sites. My preferred age range is 32-49 and I've noticed something peculiar in the "older" crowd: Must have...
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Things to Do This Week: May 22-25
by Mercury Staff You'd think the preceding weekend's worth of weird would have exhausted itself, but nope. The adventurous creativity (and outright freakiness) don't stop just because the calendar...
View ArticleGood Morning, News: Trump Worships the Glowing Orb
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Hip to hip, lip to lip, and then lock it. Big fat feet means big fat pockets. LET'S GO TO PRESS.The Timbers lose an ugly game to the Montreal Impact,...
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Chuck Goes a Step Past Rocky
by Aris Hunter Wales Within the pantheon of American boxing movies, from On the Waterfront to Creed, none stray too far from the template: You have your working-class, punch-drunk dullard with...
View ArticleSometimes I Think Donald Trump Is In a FemDom Relationship
by Dan Savage "I said I'd come with you. I didn't say you can touch me."pic.twitter.com/vrH94OoNS5— shauna (@goldengateblond) May 22, 2017I mean.[ Comment on this story ][ Subscribe to the comments on...
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Twitter Founder "Sorry" If He Helped Put Trump in Office
by Eli Sanders Not laughing so much now that Twitter played a role in "a very bad thing."David Paul Morris / GettyThis has been kicking around for a couple days, but in case you missed it due to...
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This Week in Appropriation: Kooks Burritos and Willamette Week
by Jagger Blaec AlexPro9500 / GettyPortland has an appropriation problem. This week in white nonsense, two white women—Kali Wilgus and Liz “LC” Connely—decided it would be cute to open a food truck...
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Live Review: Fleet Foxes at the Crystal Ballroom, Thurs May 18
by Ciara Dolan Fleet FoxesVeronica RoseLast Thursday night, Fleet Foxes hit the Crystal Ballroom for one of their first shows in six years. The folk band—which formed in Seattle in the mid-'00s, then...
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Counterpoint: Am I the Only One Who Likes Feeling Uncomfortable? I Watched...
by Megan Burbank SHOWTIMEThough four episodes of the newly revived Twin Peaks were available last night, I only got through three. It would maybe have been none if I'd been watching alone, but luckily...
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Point: Am I The Only One Who Didn't Like the Twin Peaks Revival?
David Lynch might have out-Lynched himself. by Leilani Polk Agent Cooper, 24 years deep in the Black LodgeThere was a story to be found threaded into the eerie-weird revival of Twin Peaks, though it...
View ArticleThe Cars
by Anonymous One thing is the band was pretty cool. They're still cool. I still listen to them. The other thing is men, women, boys, and girls that want, drive, borrow, rent, or own cars don't want...
View ArticleGiant Fucking Jesus Billboards
by Anonymous We live in a country with freedom to practice religion, it's the basis of our constitution. But when I'm sitting at a cafe with my child, I don't want to see looming over the street...
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In the Spring of 1990, Twin Peaks Premiered, and My Mom Started Losing Her Mind
by Ariella Smith MIKE FORCEIn the spring of 1990, two major events occurred simultaneously: Twin Peaks premiered on ABC, and my mom started losing her mind.I was 10 years old.I don’t remember being...
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I, Anonymous Classic: Spank You Very Much
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey STEVEN WEISSMANHere's another I, Anonymous Classic from the archives! And it involves spanking, which is a subject that interests you.Are You Just Going to Watch or Are You...
View ArticleYou Never Know Who You're Talking To
by Anonymous I'm a shop manager at a Scooter shop here in Portland. It's a well established place. When I came into work on Monday I got a phone call from the owner that I'd been expecting for a...
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The Camp Option for Memorial Weekend
by MJ Skegg Thursday is National Wine Day (I had no idea either until a message from a helpful PR appeared in my inbox). I think the concept is to get people to drink more wine, if any encouragement...
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