You're Never Gonna Get It
by Anonymous Not the song. Not sex. You're just stupid. An idiot. A dingbat dumbshit. You'll never comprehend. You'll never have a clue as to how to do self reflection to understand why things are...
View ArticleGood Morning, News: Condescending Rich People, the Trump Nightmare Continues,...
by Claire Holley Every tweet. Every goddamn tweet of his predicts a future lined with his own fuck-ups. He's like a time traveler failing to warn himself. pic.twitter.com/tXFsdSWrkD— Chuck Wendig...
View ArticleNew Column: Ask the Oregonian Commenters
by The Oregonian Commenters Dear Oregonian commenters: I’m growing increasingly horrified by the actions of the Trump administration. What can I do to make my voice heard?—Darlene W., SE...
View ArticleWill Trump Make Hanford More Dangerous Than It Already Is?
by Sydney Brownstone Mike ForceLast Tuesday morning, a tunnel at the nation’s largest nuclear cleanup site partially collapsed, leaving a 20-by-20 hole that exposed rail cars carrying some materials...
View ArticleStubborn U2 Fans
by Anonymous I'm not surprisedFans of "The Joshua Tree"Can't comprehend poetryStill,If the word "Bono"Ever comes near my faceIn any capacity— straight to the gallows.[ Comment on this story ][...
View ArticlePrositution Demonized
by Anonymous I've been thinking about prostitution a lot lately. Sure, I'm a gross creep that can't get any. If that's how you want to envision me as you read this I'm okay with it because it doesn't...
View ArticleCrossroads Music, Portland’s Used-Vinyl Paradise, Is Looking for a New Home
by Ned Lannamann Beloved Portland record mart Crossroads Music is looking for a new home. The used vinyl emporium—which offers records and music paraphernalia from dozens of individual sellers—is...
View ArticleSavage Love Letter of the Day: He DTMFA'd But She Won't Leave His House
by Dan Savage I'm a 37-year-old man, who has been in a monogamous relationship with the same woman for six years. Shortly after moving in with me in the house I own, she quit her job. She's been...
View ArticleAfter a Budget Clash, Mayor Ted Wheeler is Looking for More Money to Battle...
by Dirk VanderHart Doug BrownAs he prepares to pass an "approved" budget for the coming fiscal year tomorrow, Mayor Ted Wheeler is on the hunt for more cash to fight homelessness. It's still too early...
View ArticleHire Me, Hire Me Pot
by Anonymous im writing because, like a lot of oregonians, i smoke pot. like a lot of other oregonians, i am unemployed. on the one hand, its illegal to discriminate for employment based on a medical...
View ArticleTonic Lounge Cancels Swedish Death Metal Band's Concert Following Reports of...
by Ciara Dolan Ester SegarraSwedish death metal band Shining was scheduled to play the Tonic Lounge tomorrow as part of its "No Safe Space" tour, but yesterday in a Facebook post the venue announced...
View ArticleNew York Times: Trump Personally Asked Comey to End the Flynn Investigation
by Eli Sanders "I'm like a smart person."Mark Wilson / Getty ImagesDrip, drip, drip:WASHINGTON — President Trump asked the F.B.I. director, James B. Comey, to shut down the federal investigation into...
View ArticleThe Case Against Impeaching Trump
by Eli Sanders Chip Somodevilla / Getty ImagesThe case is being made today by Cliston Brown in the New York Observer, and it can be summed up in two words: Mike Pence.As they often do, Democrats are...
View ArticleVoters Just Passed a Record-Setting Bond for Portland Public Schools
by Dirk VanderHart It appears Portland voters have passed the largest bond measure in state history—a $790 million property tax bond designed to eliminate lead and copper exposure in Portland Public...
View ArticleThings to Do Film: May 19-25
The Last Dragon, Kindergarten Cop, and Kenji Mizoguchi’s Ugetsu. by Mercury Staff Alien: CovenantSee review, this issue. Various Theaters.Being ThereBeing There is a slow, long-panning, hilarious...
View ArticleThe Beast Is Back in Alien: Covenant
Meet the new Alien, same as the old Alien. by Bobby Roberts When last we saw David, Michael Fassbender’s mad scientist android from Prometheus, he was a decapitated head in a bag, carried onto an...
View ArticleMisfortune and Misadventure
The boxing movie Chuck goes a step past Rocky. by Aris Hunter Wales Within the pantheon of American boxing movies, from On the Waterfront to Creed, none stray too far from the template: You have your...
View ArticleThe Lovers Is in Love with Its Own Solipsism
Ready to slog through the worst parts of adulthood? by Megan Burbank A friend of mine claims that because her parents never got divorced, she can’t handle fictional separations. Turns out I share this...
View ArticleMusic—and More—at 2017’s QDoc
Jazz hands! by Elinor Jones Remember back in the Dark Ages, before streaming, when everyone was always sad that we had all these channels but nothing was ever on? (Does this paper have readers young...
View ArticlePortland’s Pretty
Walkin’ on First Thursday. by Marissa Sullivan Have I mentioned I got new roommates? Well I did, and I’m ecstatic about how cool and lovely they are. Here’s just one example of how they’re cool: They...
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