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My Mower Isn't For Free

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by Anonymous

I posted a free lawnmower on Craigslist a few days ago and you came over to claim it. I had 4 people respond and 4 people who never showed up. Typical Craigslist, eh?

You responded and said you lived close, so I called and offered you the mower. You said you'd be by "in a jiffy," and you showed up over an hour later. Not sure what the deal was, but you had this tweeker looking dude hop out of your truck and ring my doorbell. I walked him to the side of my house, showed him the mower and he grabbed it and pushed it down to the street where you were parked.

He was not a man of many words, because he didn't even give a simple "thank you." He just grabbed my mower and walked away. Talk about rude.

After you left I decided that it was pretty fucking rude of your assistant to not even give me a thank you. So, I called you back and asked for one. I said that I gave you that mower for free, and the least you could do was to say thanks.

You seemed confused, so I cleared it up for you: "Listen, if you don't offer me a simple thank you right here and right now, I'm going to call the police and say that you stole my mower. I have your license plate number (I didn't) and I have a neighbor who will testify to seeing you trespass onto my property to steal my mower (there was no neighbor). I demand a thank you... NOW!"

There was a short moment of silence, and then a very confused "Thank you."

I hung up and went about my day.

No harm, no foul... just simple fucking decency.

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