Jeff Sessions Is Going to Hell

by Josh Jardine

In January, I wrote a column imagining the different directions federal cannabis law could take under President Trump. As you’ve hopefully learned by following along with my far smarter colleagues in their weekly “Ask a Pot Lawyer” columns, the scenarios I proposed are already hilariously outdated.

That’s because the cannabis policy undertaken by Attorney General Ku Klux Keebler is perfectly in line with the various national “policies” set forth by Fake-Tan Hitler. It is unhinged, unpredictable, based upon private gain and racist beliefs, and seeks to inflict the most heinous suffering on our most vulnerable populations.

So, what’s Li’l Jeffy Sessions been up to since we last checked in? I’m so glad you asked.