This week is somethin' ain't it? Just the breadth of it—it doesn't matter what your very specific tastes may be, this week is going to offer up something for you to enjoy. Do you like riding bikes, and also like Prince, and like riding bikes to Prince on the way to a tribute concert for Prince? Do you like baseball, and also like Twin Peaks, and drinking cheap drinks while watching a baseball team cosplay as a baseball team from the fictional town of Twin Peaks? See what we're saying here? And if your tastes are a little (or a lot simpler) there's bonafide classics like beer parties, Boyz II Men, and that one movie about a really tenacious shark. Seriously—we got basically everything on deck this week. Hit the links below and load your plate accordingly
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Hustle and Drone, Gold Casio, Reptaliens
The Doug Fir plays host to a "Golden Extraterrestrial Space-Age Synthesizer Ceremony," an audio/visual event and party that encourages attendees to wear to gold and dance the night away to electro-pop sounds from the likes of Hustle and Drone, Gold Casio, and Reptaliens.
9 pm, Doug Fir, $5-10
Ural Thomas & the Pain
To live in Portland and never have seen Ural Thomas and the Pain—a resurrected local treasure of soul if there ever was one—would be a shame. MARJORIE SKINNER
9 pm, Goodfoot, $5
The Big Sleep
Humphrey Bogart spars with Lauren Bacall in Howard Hawks’ 1946 adaptation of Raymond Chandler’s book. There’s murder, blackmail, intrigue, and innuendo, and despite the convoluted plot (not even Chandler could figure out who killed the chauffeur), Bogie, as Philip Marlowe, does a great job of keeping pace with the audience, tugging on his earlobe in nervous confusion. This is prototypical noir, and a fantastic detective movie; what’s more, Marlowe’s success with the ladies is obvious inspiration for another famous film dick—you might know him as Bond. NED LANNAMANN
6:30 pm, Laurelhurst Theater
Chon Tera Melos, Covet, Little Tybee
The effect Tera Melos’ transformation from discordant instrumental math rock band into Brian Wilson-worshipping math rock band had on the scene was palpable. 2010’s Patagonian Rats injected ardor and emotion into a genre with an overwhelmingly cerebral canon, making pop hooks cool in the rarefied world of highly technical electric guitar music. (Tera Melos’ metamorphosis should have come as little surprise: In 2009, the group released a pitch-perfect, face-melting mashup of Polaris’“Hey Sandy” and “God Only Knows.”) Tera Melos doubled down on their follow-up, 2013’s X’ed Out. The songs got consistently shorter, their structures became nearly coherent, and guitarist Nick Reinhart’s crystalline, multi-tracked vocals started to eclipse the signature shred-offs. But Tera Melos’ defining artistic statement remains Patagonian Rats—a Frankenstein monster of a pop-rock album that manages to be both achingly indelible and completely inscrutable. MORGAN TROPER
7 pm, Hawthorne Theatre, $17, all ages
Courtney Maum
A reading and discussion of Maum's new novel, Touch , the follow up to her acclaimed debut, I Am Having So Much Fun Here Without You.
7:30 pm, Powell's City of Books, free
Unwed Sailor, Luna Vista, Ant'lrd
Oklahoma-hailing musician Johnathon Ford brings his ambient post-rock project to the Bunk Bar stage in support of his 2017 full-length, Internal Reality.
9:30 pm, Bunk Bar, $7
Boyz II Men, Paula Abdul, NKOTB
I could make a lot of jokes here about how unnecessary boy band reunion tours are, and could certainly poke at Paula Abdul’s unwarranted presence on American Idol, let alone on this “Total Package Tour” stage. But to be totally frank, I’m so happy tours like these exist; they give the most loyal (and oldest) fans a chance to see childhood faves for a reasonable price! And any show that includes the heartfelt R&B harmonies of Boyz II Men on its lineup will be money well spent as far as I’m concerned. JENNI MOORE
7:30 pm, Moda Center, $29.95-199.95, all ages
Dennis Lehane
When Elmore Leonard passed, the throne of the King of Crime Fiction was vacated. Of all the potential claims, Dennis Lehane’s might be the most valid. Since We Fell, his latest novel, joins an airtight, complex, and straight-up mean bibliography that includes bona fide crime classics like Gone Baby Gone and Live By Night.
7:30 pm, Powell's City of Books
Wavves, Kino Kimino
San Diego four-piece Wavves sounds exactly how a California band named after ocean swells should sound: full of fuzzy, shimmery indie surf-rock. But their lyrical content is often darker than those labels connote, as frontman Nathan Williams tackles subjects like self-loathing and addiction with a tired, anxious, sardonic tongue. FIONA GABRIELLE WOODMAN
8:30 pm, Hawthorne Theatre, $20-23
Brandy Clark, Charlie Worsham
Charlie Worsham’s been kicking around Nashville for a decade or so, writing songs for other people, playing great gigs, and generally wowing folks, but never quite breaking through as a solo artist. His new album Beginning of Things ought to do it. It’s an ambitious and inventive take on modern country that finds Worsham incorporating blues, classic pop, soul, and psychedelic sounds much more naturally than most of his contemporaries. And he does it all in a way that feels airy, vibrant, and fun. He’s like Brad Paisley without a bunch of employees’ paychecks to worry about. Or the Sturgill Simpson who’s willing to play ball. Or the guy who’s going to bust up bro-country’s reign. He’s great, and now you know why Worsham is Nashville’s next great (male) hope. He comes to Portland with one of the many women who’ve already pushed Nashville toward a richer artistic future, Brandy Clark. BEN SALMON
9 pm, Doug Fir, $22-24
B-Movie Bingo: Magic Cop
Your monthly opportunity to literally check off a bingo card full of B-movie clichés! This month, the challenge is to actually play the game while being repeatedly shocked into bewildered confusion at whatever the fuck is happening during any five-minute stretch of Magic Cop—not to be confused with Maniac Cop, the most chin-tastic film ever, starring not just Bruce Campbell, but Robert Z-Dar, who’s whole head is just one big chin with eyes and lips stuck to it. Anyway, in Magic Cop Lam Ching Ying plays unibrowed police officer/sorcerer Uncle Feng, who is paired up with a greenhorn rookie to help stop a drug smuggling ring using reanimated corpses as mules.
7:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre, $7-9
Portland's Funniest Person: Preliminary Rounds
Past winners of this contest have pretty much all promptly packed their shit, moved to Los Angeles or New York, and gotten steady work making people laugh a lot on a national stage. In these preliminary rounds you might see who from our comedy community is about to make that leap for themselves.
7 pm, 10 pm, Helium Comedy Club, $10
Corinne Bailey Rae, Jamila Woods
Almost exactly a year ago, bohemian soul goddess Corinne Bailey Rae came to town and played an intimate show at Mississippi Studios shortly after releasing her newest album The Heart Speaks in Whispers. A fully fleshed out band complements the UK singer/multi-instrumentalist’s live set, and her glowy aura may as well be topped with an actual halo. Tonight’s bill is backed by another stunner, Jamila Woods, whose soulful voice you might recognize from Chance the Rapper collabs, like “Blessings” from his Coloring Book, and “LSD” from her studio debut, HEAVN. JENNI MOORE
8 pm, Wonder Ballroom, $29.50
Prince 4 Ever RideandA Birthday Celebration for Prince
When David Bowie and Prince passed away in tragic succession last year, the organizers of the Bowie vs. Prince Ride, a Pedalpalooza classic, made the decision 2016 would be their last hurrah. It was sad and it was joyous, with throngs of purple-clad, and ginger-wigged cyclists bidding farewell to the two rock heroes. Reasonable people can disagree whether Bowie or Prince was the better artist, but Prince was born June 7, smack dab in the middle of Pedalpalooza’s terrific maelstrom. So this evening you will once again don your violet, your magenta, your amethyst, and you will ride in honor of the Purple One’s birthday for the Prince4Ever Ride. Then you’ll stop at the Doug Fir for a proper birthday celebration (with karaoke!). Act your shoe size, people. DIRK VANDERHART
Prince 4 Ever Ride 8 pm, SE 9th & Burnside
Prince Birthday Celebration 9 pm, Doug Fir, $10-15
The I, Anonymous Show
If you like comedy and lots of ranty-rants, then you’ll love the monthly I, Anonymous Show—now at its new home at Curious Comedy Theater! Hilarious host Caitlin Weierhauser will present the weirdest and wildest rants from the Mercury’s long-running I, Anonymous column which will then be riffed upon by a panel of local comedic geniuses, including Adam Pasi, Anthony Lopez, and Wendy Weiss! Find out what happens when rants stop being polite, and start getting real. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
7 pm, Curious Comedy Theater, $10
Science on Tap: Inside the Feline Mind
Contrary to behaviors you might have observed, cats can think. They're just really weird about it. Dr. Rolan Tripp spends a couple hours explaining to you why your kitty does things like drag dead animals to your feet, show you their tummy and then bunny kick all the flesh off your hands when you go for skritches, and all the other dumb shit these meowing sacks of crap like to do between litter changes.
7 pm, Alberta Rose Theatre, $8-13
Holocene Turns 14!
Holocene is turning 14 years old, so come out and celebrate the music venue and popular dance spot with a free night of entertainment, featuring a headlining performance from local cumbia ensemble Orquestra Pacifico Tropical, DJ sets by 2 TABS (Gran Ritmos) and VNPRT (Chapter Mag), and a special VR spa exhibit from Portland Immersive Media Group.
9 pm, Holocene, free
Jaws
"Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte... just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour."
9:40 pm, Academy Theater
Portland Pickles'Twin Peaks Night
It’s everything I didn’t know I needed: This week, our own boys of summer, the Portland Pickles, will play IN CHARACTER as the Twin Peaks Steeplejacks, AND it’s Thirsty Thursday, which means
$2 drinks and hot dogs, AND they’re giving out Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department beanies, AND there’ll be cherry pie and coffee! OMG. Donut disturb me while I take in all in! MEGAN BURBANK
7:05 pm, Walker Stadium, $7-10, all ages
The Cool Kids Patio Show
The Cool Kids Patio Show returns to the Doug Fir patio for another evening of free comedy and live music, featuring stand-up by Matt Monroe, Marcus Coleman, and Adam Pasi, along with a performance by Dreckig, the local psych-trip-hop project consisting of Papi Fimbres and Shana Lindbeck. Hosted by Andie Main.
6 pm, Doug Fir, free
The Parson Red Heads, The Minus 5, The Reverberations
The beloved local folk rock outfit headline Mississippi Studios with support from Portland pop rock staple Scott McCaughey and his band the Minus 5.
9 pm, Mississippi Studios, $10-13
Puddles Pity Party
Need more proof of the power of the internet: In 2013, an unknown seven-foot-tall clown set down his lantern (?), looked disdainfully into a camera, and boomed out a Lorde cover. Then reflect on how Puddles the Clown and his Puddles' Pity Party are playing the Alberta Rose three years later. The guy’s talented as hell, but INTERNET. DIRK VANDERHART
8 pm, Alberta Rose Theatre, $33.50-35
Phil Stanford
Portland's hard-boiled historian returns with more tales of the City of Roses' seedier side in Rose City Vice, his new book chronicling corruptions witin the Portland police force during the drug-fueled 1970s
7:30 pm, Powell's City of Books, free
Portland Beer Week Kickoff Party
Portland Beer Week is so big it takes 11 days to celebrate, and it starts here, with this party on the rooftop, with an indoor marketplace featuring food and drink samples from vendors including 5404 Meats, Yakima Hop Candy, Ninkasi, Little Beast, HOTLIPS, Whole Foods, and more.
4 pm, Eastside Exchange, $10
Portland Horror Film Festival
This film fest returns for its second year, full of shorts from all over the world that span the horror spectrum—from funny-gross to gross-gross, and from understated eerie to full-blown bizarre. COURTNEY FERGUSON
Hollywood Theatre, see hollywoodtheatre.org for titles and showtimes
Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!