Don't get me wrong: Travi$ Scott is a great artist and an energetic performer, and having Drake show up was really memorable. But the Flying Lotus cancellation mixed with the miserable shittiness of the Memorial Coliseum made the show kind of... meh.
Here are five reasons you should forget your FOMO:
1. Amongst all these 19-year-olds and early twentysomethings, I felt like someone’s crotchety-but-cool aunt the whole night. Not exactly what I’m going for. Also, why was everyone dressed like a Kardashian?
2. Although it’s where I'd initially hoped my press seats were located, the GA floor was way rowdier than when I went to see Chance the Rapper in October. It was an unstoppable mosh pit that at one point swallowed up both Scott and Drake. Looking at the swaying mess all night from my seats in the bowl, I just shook my head and said "no thanks."
3. The sound in the Memorial Coliseum is fucking terrible. I can’t remember if it’s always like that, or if there was something special about Scott’s auto-tune setup, but from where I was sitting I could barely understand what he was saying/singing. My god does this place need updating. Too bad this show didn’t go off at the Crystal Ballroom or the Roseland, especially since the Memorial Coliseum wasn’t even sold out.
4. Did Drake show up to perform his new song “Portland” with Travi$ Scott, for the first time, IN Portland? Yes. Was it totally frickin’ awesome, or “lit,” as the kids say? Sure! Is Drake a hunk and a total beefcake? Well, definitely yes, and there’s nothing we can do about that. BUT Drake was only on stage for two or three songs max (like I said, it was hard to hear exactly what was going on up there). But those tickets started at $50, so seeing Drake perform “Portland” and “Know Yourself” for 10 minutes wouldn’t have been worth your precious dinero. That's money you could be spending on a buttload of locally-grown 4/20 cannabis!
5. Drake will be back (hopefully soon) for more segue rides, Salt and Straw, sneaker meetings, and concert tours. What else do we have him in our golden Nike shackles for?
6. BONUS! There's a shat-ton of videos you can watch instead.