Saturday in Portland was full of sunshine, unnecessary shirtless men, and a 2-0 Thorns victory over the Orlando Pride in the 2017 season opener! GET A NAPKIN CAUSE I’M COMING IN WITH AN OPEN MOUTH-SPRINGTIME KISS!
Providence Park was alive with 16 thousand or so sweaty fans roaring in praise for their past season shield winners. Prior to the match Thorns team captain, Christine Sinclair, was presented with the 2016 National Women's Soccer League shield for the Thorns having the most winningest record in 2016. WE WANT THE MATCHING CUP!
LOOK OUT VIN DIESEL
The Thorns started this match FAST AND FURIOUS! There’s nothing like an eager start to a new season with a polished team that has something to prove. Last year the Thorns came TOO CLOSE to going to the final match when they lost against the Western New York Flash. But in a sad finish to a long, successful season, the Flash moved on and the Thorns did not. HUNGRY LIKE A DURAN DURAN WOLF #SMELLLIKEISOUND
Out of the gate Thorn’s forward, Mallory Weber came in hot with a shot and a slight miss—setting an aggressive tone for the match. In the 30th minute Thorns forward Christine Sinclair made a definitive blast to the goal, volleyed for the shot. But Canadian sensation Sinclair did not score the goal.
She did, however, force a handball on the Orlando Pride’s defender, thus granting Portland’s penalty kick point redeemer, Nadia Nadim, another scoring opportunity. Grab a tool belt, ladies, and gentlemen, cause Nadim HAMMERED the first official goal of the 2017 Thorn’s season in. LOOK OUT PETER PAUL AND MARY WE HAVE HAMMERS!
YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS
There were nearly equal shots on goals for each team and Adrianna Franch, the Thorns goalie, had much work to do in the back. She and the defense worked hard to keep the Pride scoreless.
But look—I will be honest—I AM NOT SOLD ON FRANCH JUST YET.
She seems like a hard working professional athlete. Don't get me wrong, she's good at her job. And I'll admit that I'm not over the whole Michelle Betos leaving thing. (WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? CAN SOMEONE FILL US IN?) Franch just makes me HELLA NERVOUS. Maybe I'm just not familiar with her brand of confidence, but I’m just a little leery of her “off the line choices.” Admittedly, she had both close calls and nice saves in the first half—but when I watched her sprint back to the locker room to fetch her goalie gloves just before the second half kickoff I was taken aback and my nerves were aflutter. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TRUST YOU.
How do you forget your gloves?
Do I look for my sunglasses when they are on my head? SURE
Do I look for my phone when I am talking on it? DAILY
But come on—this is one of those “you had one job” kind of things. This is like Peyton Manning showing up without a helmet. Or Liza Minnelli showing up without sequins, pain pills and tap shoes—ABSURD!
MY FAVORITE PART
I love being reminded that we live in Soccer City USA. Having Lifetime TV at the park to broadcast opening day with super pros analyzing and promoting women’s professional soccer was beyond inspiring and exciting. But the best part—the part I kept replaying in my head as I drifted off into a soft white wine slumber—was the 67th minute when Ali Long maintained style, grace, and perfect timing to push the ball through two Orlando defenders to meet Christine Sinclair so she could score a second Thorns goal. This play and point provided more confidence in the Thorn’s experience, fortitude, and top of the table placement.
MOVING FORWARD
I am excited about this season... but it should also be noted that I am easily excitable. While it doesn’t take much to get me tap dancing across any of the few available bridges in Portland, I am curious to see how this new team pushes their limits to finish their hunt for the cup in 2017.
Catch the Thorns on Saturday, April 22 at 4:30 pm when they play the North Carolina Courage in North Carolina. This should be a nail biter as the Courage beat the Washington Spirit 1-0 this weekend and Saturday will be N. Carolina's first home game of the season. Feel free to invite me to any viewing parties in Portland. I’m great company and a pretty good dancer.
Invites and sweet things can be relayed on twitter @erinjeanius
