GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Hit the shore 'cause I'm faded. Honeys in the street say, "Monty, yo we made it!"LET'S GO TO PRESS.
A tough break for the Blazers who were taken down in game one of the playoffs by those BASTARDS the Golden State Warriors.
A tough break as well for the Timbers who lost at home against Sporting Kansas City—check out the recap and analysis from our own Abe Asher.
Roughly a thousand people marched Saturday in the anti-Trump Tax Day March in Portland.
And hello... what's this? Hikers find HUMAN BONES near a trail in Southwest Portland.
Now look—I know you're already hungry, so don't forget PIZZA WEEK starts today!
Trump's White House is fed up with North Korea's incremental inching toward being a nuclear threat, but will most likely do something stupid in response, according to this analysis. Have a great week!
This story about Veep Mike Pence threatening North Korea is only worth a peek because of the stupid leather jacket he's wearing in a sad attempt to look tough.
Welcome! #EasterEggRollpic.twitter.com/G7bqHqreIm
— m3mo (@m3mo) April 17, 2017
"and then the Easter Bunny said "this was the largest and most attended #EasterEggRoll on White House grounds. Period."pic.twitter.com/xnyXKQvEaC
— jr (@jayarealvarado) April 17, 2017
A manhunt is on for an asshole who shall remain nameless, because he murdered a 74 year old man on video and then uploaded it to Facebook.
Since last year, ICE agents have arrested more than double the number of immigrants.
Trump spent his Easter morning pretending to be religious and tweeting a bunch of insecure nonsense about how he actually won the election, so why should he reveal his taxes?
As you probably suspected, racism played a big role in the 2016 election—but if you want to prove it to your racist relatives, here's the statistical proof.
Attorney General Jeff Sessions may have more of a problem with his war on cannabis than he thought, since both Democrats and Republicans are lining up against him.
United Airlines have a new rule that won't allow crew members to displace a sitting passenger. We assume that means they won't drag them either.
Now let's look at... THE WEATHER REPORT: Sunbreaks today with showers tonight, high of 58!
And finally, in case you missed it, Melissa McCarthy returns to SNL as Sean Spicer with a special hippity-hoppity holiday message!