GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Baby, I don't understand just why we can't be lovers. Things are getting out of hand. Trying too much, but baby we can't win. LET'S GO TO PRESS.
The Portland City Council will be voting today on whether or not to join Seattle in their lawsuit to challenge Trump's punishment of "sanctuary cities."
Local activist Philip "Standard" Schaefer is no longer looking at a felony robbery charge for snatching someone's glasses during a protest last month.
On this day, renowned children's book author Beverly Cleary was born in 1916. She turns 101!
Image source: https://t.co/VOhzj3wNPBpic.twitter.com/HwK9oCnucu
— White Plains Library (@WhitePlainsLib) April 12, 2017
Everybody panicked/got excited when a downtown Portland building appeared to be buckling, and many were fearing an imminent collapse. (It was just part of the building's exterior though, so calm down already.)
I'm just going to leave this Oregonian story right here: "A $412,500 lawsuit accuses a group of Portland police officers of getting drunk at a wedding and falsely confronting a female guest about stealing a wallet—then tackling her, choking her and pulling down her strapless gown to expose her bare breasts." DEAR FUCKING GOD.
Last summer the FBI got a secret court order to monitor Trump adviser Carter Page due to their strong suspicions that... yup! HE WAS ACTING AS A FOREIGN AGENT WITH RUSSIA TO MEDDLE IN OUR ELECTION. (Sorry for so many caps, it's that kind of day.)
Meanwhile Trump's sudden 180 degree spin from being one of Putin's biggest supporters to accusing the Russian president of covering up their role in the Syrian chemical attack is causing leaders around the globe to go "whu-whu-whaaaaa?"
You already know that Press Secretary Sean Spicer is a dummy among dummies, but yesterday he really outdid himself. (Cue Melissa McCarthy!)
According to some weird comments from Trump, some are beginning to suspect that creepy advisor Steve Bannon is not long for the administration.
Republican Ron Estes barely won his special election last night in the deeply red state of Kansas, and the GOP is rightly spooked.
After realizing that his company's actions REALLY, REALLY, REALLY PISSED PEOPLE OFF, United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz decided it was time to issue a weak-ass apology. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! NOT, NOT, NOT ACCEPTED!
The artist behind Wall Street's "Charging Bull" sculpture is all butt-hurt about the addition of the "Fearless Girl" statue that faces it, saying it changes the "creative dynamic" of his piece wahhh-wahh-wahh.
J. Geils—of the J. Geils Band most famous for the song "Centerfold"—has died of reportedly natural causes at the age of 71.
Now let's take a look at the WEATHER: Showers, showers, showers, I hope you like showers. (High of 58.)
And finally, in case you missed it, check out Jimmy Kimmel's devastating parody of those money-hungry assholes at United Airlines AND OH MY GOD I'M STILL FURIOUS ABOUT THIS!